"Eres un amor" = you're a dear
"Y usted una maravilla. El que lee ese criterio y no quiere ver te sera maricon." = And you are a marvel. Anyone who reads that review and doesn't want to see you is gay.
"Hey como estas? aquel dia quede dormida...me encanto el review que me escribiste...que haras esta noche? Me verias por 120 1 hr?" = Hey, how are you? That day, I overslept...I loved that review that you wrote...what are you doing tonight? Would you see me for 120 1 hr?
"Esta noche yo trabajo. Podria tener un raincheck para esta oferta?" = I work this evening. Might I have a raincheck for that offer?
"Que es eso? Disculpa mi ignorancia" = What is that? Forgive my ignorance.
"Para que hora tenias en mente?" = What time did you have in mind?
"Las 10" = at 10
"No estoy disponible a esa hora. Puedo aprovechar esta oferta para otro tiempo?" = I'm not available at that time. May I take advantage of that offer another time?
"A q hora podrias esta noche? Rain check significa otro dia?" = At what time could you this evening? Does raincheck mean another day?
"Si, mas o menos es lo que significa. Lo mas tarde que yo puedo verte es a las 8pm, y tendria estar en mi uniforme de trabajo para despues ir al trabajo despues." = Yeah, that's what it means, more or less. The latest that I can see you is at 8pm, and I'd have to be in my work uniform so that I can head to work afterwards.
"A las 8 en mansion? Te espero claro que si. Trabajas a las 9?" = The Mansion at 8? Of course I'll wait for you. Do you work at 9?"
"Esta bien. Yo trabajo a las 11, pero lo que me demora es el trafico y esperar el autobus del parqueo nuevo para el aeropuerto." = Very well. I work at 11, but it takes time between traffic and waiting for the shuttle bus for the new parking at the airport.
"Prefieres la estancia?" = Would you prefer Estancia?
"La mansion me combiene mas. Yo trabajo en el aeropuerto de Ft. Lauderdale." = The Mansion would better suit me. I work in Ft. Lauderdale airport.
"Ok pens q era Miami..te veo esta noche. Gracias :)" = Okay, I thought it was Miami (International Airport)...I'll see you this evening. Thank you :)
"Por nada. Otra preguntica. Que tiempo se demora la viagra tener efecto?" = It's nothing. Another question. How long does it take for viagra to take effect?
"Creo q entre media hora y la hora" = I think between half an hour and one hour.
"Wow. Eso no es muy conveniente si se me para la verga cuando se me termina la sita." = Wow. That's not very convenient if my dick gets hard just as the appointment ends.
"Jajaja no por eso tienes q comprarlas y tenerlas...asi te la tomas cuando sale de tu casa y cuando llegas ya tenes el corazon a million y casi listo. Deberias hacer un iso en indi y preguntar pq yo no se mucho de eso" = Hahaha. That's why you have to buy them...like that you take one when you leave your house and when you arrive your heart is at a million (mph, I assume) and are almost ready. You should post on the indi ISO and ask because I don't know much about that.
"Para eso, yo tengo a ti, porque tu me pones el corazon a mil" = That's why I have you, because you make my heart race at 1000 mph.
"Sweet !! Eso me gusta. Yo las llevo por si acaso you want it" = Sweet!! I like that. I carry them just in case you want it.
"Nos vemos a las 8. Maneje con cuidado, chica." = We'll see each other at 8. Drive safe, girl.
"Una cosa mas. Puedes estar en tu ropa regular enves del lingerie al comenso de la sita? Yo te encuentro vien sexy en una camisa y mantalones normal y el minimo de maquillaje." = One more thing. Could you be in regular close instead of lingerie at the start of the appointment? I find you very sexy in a normal shirt and pants and with minimal make-up.
"Ok asi sera y dentro de la ropa el lingerie normal?" = Okay, it'll be like that and lingerie underneath my clothes?
"No es necesario. Ponte ropa como si no estuvieras trabajando. Ya llege a la Mansion Motel. Avisame cuando estas lista." = It's not necessary. Put on clothes as if you weren't working. I arrived at the Mansion Motel. Let me know when you're ready.
"Voy en camino llego en 30 min. Mejor agarra el room tu y esperame. Mandame el numero...de los 100 q me vas a dar...pero asi no te quedas en el carro..." = I'm on my way. I'll arrive in 30 minutes. Better yet, grab a room and wait for me. Send me the room number...from the 100 that you're going to give me...like that you won't wait in the car.
"Yo no tengo problema quedando me en el carro." = I have no problem waiting in the car.
"Ok entonces ve a otro lado. Hay in Home Depot por alli. Y esperas en el carro pero no en el parking del hotel please. Ya llevas 15 min." = Okay, then go somewhere else. There's a Home Depot around there; wait in the car there but not in the hotel parking, please. It's been 15 minutes.
"Esta bien." = Very well.
"Anda y luego vuelves. Yo te aviso cuando llegue." = Go and come back later. I'll let you know when I get here.
"Gracias otra ves por citar me esta moche. Te llamare el fin de semana sigiendo el dia de las madres para comer en ese lugar en Doral que me contaste (Girafa?)" = Thank you for seeing me this evening. I'll call you the weekend after Mother's Day so that we can eat at that place in Doral that you told me about (Giraffe?)
"Si...gracias a ti" = Yes...thank you as well.
"No creo q pueda ir a comer contigo...yo deje que me tomaras la foto pq no me imagine que eras tan bien client de Charlie y no sabia q el era el novio de angels...q raro q no lo comentaras." = I don't think I can eat with you...I let you take those pictures of me* because I didn't imagine that you were such a good client of Charlie's and I didn't know that he was the boyfriend of angels...how strange that you didn't say anything about that.
"Que tiene que ver que yo e utilisado los servicios de Bond Girls?" = What does it matter that I've utilized the services of Bond Girls?
"No tiene nada que ver" = It doesn't have anything to do with it.
"No se tus motivos de no querer acompaniar me a comer, pero si ese es tu decision, entonces no te puedo obligar ni tengo interes en obligarte. Tenga buenas noches." = I don't know your motives for not wanting to join me to eat, but if that's your decision, then I can't force you nor am I interested in forcing you. Have a good night.
"No es acompanarte a comer pq no me estas pagando...es ir a comer. Y compartir contigo...no pq nose q tan amigo seas de mis enemigos...mejor no regar tanta informacion para q no me sigan jodiendo...No es malo por ti. Al contrario me caes muy bien...un abrazo" = It's not joining you to eat because you're not paying me...it's eating with you. And sharing with you, I can't because I don't know how good of a friend you are to my enemies...better not to spread information so that they don't fuck with me...it's not because of you (rough translation). On the contrary, I really like you...a hug.
"De eso yo no se nada ni es asunto mio. Nadamas querio pasar un buen rato con una mujer que me cae bien como dos personas y no como un cliente y una hobrera de sexo." = I don't know anything about that nor is it any of my business. I just wanted to have a good time with a woman that I like: as two people, not like a client and a sex worker.
"Me demore un rato, pero logre escribir otra criteria de ti. Eres una profesional excelente y te lo mereces." = I took a while, but I managed to write another review of you. You're an excellent professional and you deserve it.
"Mira papito como estas?' = Hey daddy, how are you?
"Tranquilo, disfrutando mi dia libre." = Chilling, enjoying my day off.
"Donde? Como otro criterio? No me hiciste otro review? Jajaja" = Where? What do you mean a critique. Didn't you write another review? Hahaha.
"Este es la tercera parte de la trilojia, como Return of the Jedi." = This is the third part of the trilogy, like Return of the Jedi.
"Te puedo llamar?" = Can I call you?
"Si" = Yes.
The crux of her calling me was to tell me that if she had time between clients the following evening, I would be able to see her for a half-hour appointment free of charge. Unfortunately, I have no way to substantiate this physically, but I felt it relevant to provide context for the following communication between us.
"Buenas tardes. A que hora quieres ver me esta noche?
"Hola disculpa hoy no podr. Por eso te dije q tengo avisaba si tenia tiempo entre clientes" = Hi. Sorry, today I can't. That's why I told you that I'd let you know if I had time between clients.
"Esta bien. Seria posible comprarte una viagra hoy o no?" = Very well. Would it be possible to buy a viagra from you or no?
"No se que viagra te refieres? Hablamos otro dia...no me escribas...solo llamadas" = I don't know what viagra you're referring to. We'll talk another day...don't text me...only calls.
"Esta bien. Hasta la proxima." = Very well. Until next time.
"Buenas noches, Patty. Que cansado estoy. Comi te a hido el dia?" = Good evening Patty. I'm so tired. How has your day been?
"Queria ver si tienes los caramelitos de blueberry disponible." = I wanted to see if you had any blueberry candy available.
"Si pero estoy en boca. Regreso manana a Miami" = Yes, but I'm in Boca. I'll return to Miami tomorrow."
"Hasta que hora vas a estar in Miami?" = Until what time will you be in Miami?
"Que seria buen hora para conseguir caramelitos?" = What would be a good time to get some candy?
"No se que caramelos hablas. Por favor deja de escribirme...no tengo nada." = I don't know what candy you're talking about. Please stop texting me...I don't have anything.
It was at this point that I downloaded CallBlock to block TheRealPatty's calls and texts.
*For the record, at my request, she took a selfie of herself. If she claims otherwise, I will have to substantiate this by revealing her photo where you can see how her arms are positioned and how I am standing behind her and to the side as my left arm is slightly exposed. I REALLY don't want to resort to this, as I told Patty that I wouldn't share her picture with anyone, but if she claims otherwise, I will have no choice but to do so. TheRealPatty, if you're reading this, consider this your warning.
